Yesterday was a down right bad day. I’d say my grumpy dial just got cranked all the way to 100 and I was like a speeding train of rage.
It took me awhile to process what EXACTLY about yesterday that upset me–The long drawn out conversation about how humas have perverted God’s law? Perhaps the conversation about Christians not attending church because they have “unconfessed” (which isn’t even a REAL WORD!) sin in their lives and they can’t bear to hear what God has to say to them through the sermon? Maybe it was the rant about “the Gays”? Or the rant about Welfare? Suppose it was the conversation about “It’s my duty as a sister in Christ to tell you when you’ve sinned and done wrong”?–any of the conversations that happened yesterday absolutely had the potential to shove me over the edge.
And of course, YOU can guess who the facilitator of these conversations was. That’s right, none other than the bible-toting, sin-slaying, high-horse-riding, ain’t-got-no-time-for-the-gays, welfare-is-of-the-devil-BOSS.
I will just walk you through the first 30 minutes of my day. The Boss comes in flustered as always, because her life is always so much worse than everyone else’s around her, gossiping about the other workers and how useless they are. “I mean Marti, what am I supposed to do?! I left them a list of things to complete, I come in today and the list is still sitting there and the back room is a mess.” At this particular point in the discussion I wanted to inform her that as a boss, perhaps showing up to work AN HOUR late isn’t the best example for her employees. This has happened to me on several occasions. I will be scheduled to work, I show up right on the dot, she’s always 10-15 minutes behind me. One particular day she was AN HOUR late. I legitimately sat and stared at the hoard surrounding me questioning my own sanity for ever accepting this job. Instead, I say nothing to her. It’s actually getting to the point now where I am having a difficult time keeping my facial expressions to myself. Facial expressions that BLATANTLY say “I legitimately think you are the most self-righteous, gossipy, backstabbing human on the planet”.
This isn’t a good thing. I better get these facial expressions under control before I literally kill her with my glares of disdain.
Anyway, this gossiping mess continued for about 15 minutes and then directly segued into her arthritis, her sleep apnea, her sugar issues, her aching head, her achiles heel, her bleeding ulcers, her inability to lift anything over 25lbs (but she does it anyway, because every worker she has is “lazy”), her weight gain, her exhaustion, this list continued with various back stories for the next 20 minutes.
THEN we went straight into the gays. I was selling items from an estate sale where a woman collected AIDS awareness memorabilia of one kind or another. There were several pins all adorned with various jewels, red leather with pretty felt edges, a red pen bought from Tiffany & Co., small sterling silver ribbons, a sterling silver band-aid with an adorable little heart…AND THEN (cue the ominous music) the Satan pin!! Boss lady immediately FLIPS and goes into a rant: “I REFUSE to sell something that represents the perversion of God’s promises. Humankind has literally taken God’s promises and PERVERTED them for our own sinful cravings.” As she’s speaking she is vigorously digging through a box for her evidence as if this is a court room and she has to present evidence to the jury. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, exhibit number one: THE GAY PIN.
She proceeds to explain to me that she does NOT support gay rights in anyway and us selling this pin would tarnish our name as a business. I didn’t tell her that what is really tarnishing her business is her inability to run her store with any sort of organizational stamina, or professional behavior.
As she continued to rant, I just looked down at the pile of all of the other junk laying on the desk. She continued to run at the mouth as she safely put the pin back into the box and left the building to run errands. I took this as a PERFECT opportunity to sneak over to the box with all of the other AIDS items and take a picture of the Gay Pin in all of it’s sinful glory. I felt like a double agent, slowly creeping out from behind my desk, tip-toeing over to the other side of the room to remove the box from where it sat gently placed out of sight. I lifted the lid on the cardboard box, I swiftly sifted through all of the pins in their plastic wrappers and finally, there, wedged between one bejeweled AIDS pin and the bottom of the box, was the Gay Pin in all of it’s sinful glory. My mission was complete. I quickly snapped a picture, so that I could accurately mock her later and after gently placing everything back in it’s place, returned to my chair.
For your entertainment, and mine as I reread these posts….Please enjoy “The Gay Pin”