Satan’s Best Executed Plan

I’m convinced that periods are from Satan. I know that Eve is responsible for painful childbirth–thanks you inconsiderate hussy for not being able to avoid the serpent and his outlawed apple–but I am pretty certain that Satan was chilling on the front porch of his lair one particularly steamy evening, staring out at the burning lake of fire, smoke billowing angrily into the smoggy sky, just-a-chuckling to himself about the best plan he’s ever executed. Menstruation.

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