This is so weird! I originally wrote this blog post the same day that I wrote Thankful and I forgot to post it. So when I posted Undeniable Joy I was scanning through my drafts. When I read the words in this post, I was floored. It is AMAZING how God has been working in me this week! The pattern of how God convicts my spirit and then gifts me with the joy of repentance. I am overwhelmingly appreciative.
Written July 30th:
I am so excited, I can barely contain myself!
I woke up this morning feeling abundantly thankful. I wrote my blog post and I began to do some devotions. My soul has been searching for weeks. I’ve been BEGGING to hear God speak. I’ve wanted to badly to have direction, to feel him, to know he’s near, for the Bible to come alive to me.
I’ve picked up various books today, I’ve read several devotionals, I’ve picked up the bible and read through the chapter of Titus. I’ve thought about Ruth. (I’ll admit, mainly as a potential baby name and not so much about the story.) I read through Max Lucado’s book “He did this just for you”. I cried. The story about the father and the daughter in the book touched my heart. I thought about how the father in the story felt when his daughter took off in the middle of the night with a boyfriend. I thought about how much his heart was aching. It brought me to tears to think about if our earthly feelings lead us to tears, if I could feel an ache in my chest from a story, how MUCH does God’s heart ache when I decide I’ve got this thing called life figured out and I don’t need him?!
How silly have I been?! How selfish?! This life isn’t about me. This life isn’t about me figuring anything out. This life is about glorifying God. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the kind of conviction that I feel today. The conviction to be thankful. The conviction of how far I had wandered away. The conviction of needing to hear God and be close to him.
In all of this, though, I have felt the most undeniable joy too!!! I just finished reading Jeremiah 33:3- “Call to me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” That verse ends in a period but I just want to end that with 100 exclamation points! I found myself immediately saying “YES JESUS!! Tell me!! I want to know!!” I felt a tugging in my chest. A longing to hear what HE wants me to hear. A NEED for him to tell me the things I have not known.
The last book I picked up is “Change Your Words Change Your Life” by Joyce Meyer. In one of her chapters, she provides a list that she made. A list of promises given to ALL of us by God. She personalized her list and began to recite it aloud two times a day. I began asking God to reveal to me my own list. I don’t think it’s by mistake that the first thing I wrote down was “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I’m hesitant to write it down. It’s fear that keeps me from writing it down, so I am choosing to look fear dead in the face and WRITE DOWN MY CONFESSIONS. Especially since also on this list is “I will not live in fear. If God is for me, who can be against me?”
The List: God’s Promises to Me
-I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
-I will obey God’s calling in my life. (Romans 6:16; Joshua 1:8; Isaiah 1:19)
-I will honor my mother and my father. (Ephesians 6:2; Exodus 20:2; Matthew 15:4)
-I will be an obedient wife. (Ephesians 5:22-23; 1Peter 3:1-7)
-My husband will be the spiritual leader and the head of our house. (Ephesians 5:22-23)
-My husband will love me as Christ loved the church. (1Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:25)
-I will love ALL people. I will not judge people based on diversity. (1John 4:7-8; 1Peter 4:8; 1Corinthians 16:14)
-I will walk in faith and hope. (2Corinthians 5:7; Hebrews 11:6; 2Corinthians 4:16-18)
-I will accomplish my Graduate program and work 40 hours a week. (Philippians 3:13-14; Psalm 37:4)
-Only positive words will leave my mouth. (Proverbs 18:21; Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 16:24; Proverbs 12:18)
-I will hear God’s voice. (John 10:27; Romans 10:17; Jeremiah 33:3; Isaiah 30:21)
-I will not live in fear. If God is for me, who can be against me?
-I will commit my plans to the Lord and he will direct my path.
-I will be HUMBLE. I will not boast or be big headed.
-I trust that God will provide my daily needs. (Matthew 6:11)
-I will be a Godly mother and I will raise my children to know God’s love.
-I will be financially successful and God will bless my endeavors.
-I will praise God without ceasing.
-I have been set free. I am free to love God, to worship God, to Grow in God. I am free to declare things in God.
-My mother will be healed. God has plans for her. Plans for her good. (Jeremiah 29:11)
-Charis will know how beatiful she is.
-Charis will find a Godly man, that God himself has picked specifically for her.
-Abby will feel God’s love. She will be content and wait for the Godly man that he has chosen for her.
-My mother, me, my sisters, Roman and his family will praise the Lord. We will proclaim his name and our houses will serve the Lord.
-My gifts will be used to glorify God. My singing, writing, compassion, teaching.
-I will love my body. I will treat my body well. I will weigh what God wants me to weigh.
-My children will serve the Lord and they will enjoy being in his presence.
-I will write and publish a book. One that encourages those around me and draws them closer to Christ.
-I will forgive my father.
-I will not lose site of my goals.
-I will be patient
-I will be wise.
-Thankfulness will be a part of my daily life.
-My anxiety will lessen, because I will cast all my anxiety on God for he cares for me.