Well, it’s happened.
I have been so busy, I’ve run out of time to fit everything that is important to me in my schedule. This week marked the beginning of teaching and the 4th week of graduate school. All the time I savored over the last few weeks of summer has now dissipated and I find myself running from one activity, one assignment, one group of people to the next. Tuesday after I finished my first day of work, cleaned my classroom, moved furniture, met my new staff, attended staff meetings, learned the new paperwork and poured myself into my car, I had to go to the grocery store.
I remember thinking I don’t know how women do this. I don’t know how women go to school, teach full-time and then have children to care for after that. I only have myself. I help out with my youngest sister and I really do a lot to help, but she isn’t my sole responsibility. In that moment I was totally humbled when I thought about everything my Mom had to do while we were growing up.
I’m not sure why this is such a melancholy post. I am VERY excited about my teaching job. I am loving every second of graduate school. I am still on top of everything I need to accomplish, but I just feel off.
I feel a little spiritually off today. I know it has been too many days since I’ve really sat down with the Bible and got my face stuck into it for hours and today when I tried, I couldn’t. Perhaps that is my issue. God has spoken to me this week, practically DIRECTLY to me. I am hearing him still, but I can’t quite decide what I’m feeling or thinking today.
I’m struggling and I’m not even sure with what.