God never ceases to amaze me. He talks to me even when I know I don’t deserve for him to even look my direction. It is true what I’ve heard my entire life, God never moves, we move.
Sometimes it’s totally unintentional. Other times it’s a blatant move, because we are trying to run form a God who knows our every thought. This time, for me, it’s been unintentional. Another familiar pattern (called I-can-control-my-own-life) that I’ve followed once again down into a path of anxious thoughts, self-pity and tears.
This morning as I sat down my my Bible, again I wasn’t sure what I needed to read. What I should read, what God wanted me to hear, what I wanted to say to him. So, I picked up my favorite devotional and read.
This morning, God’s message: “You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in great depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. (CAN I GET AN AMEN?!) I am always doing something new within My beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you.”
There is always something to worry about. There is always an issue at hand that leaves room for the unknown. Recently I have been beyond worried about rejection. I’ve been anxious about the thoughts of mistreatment from those I want to hold dear to me. I’ve been anxious about what to say or do in the situation. How to “fix” it. I know this is a lesson God helped me learn over the past couple of years. (Marti. You can’t FIX everything!)
When I am afraid I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I will not be afraid, What can moral men do to me?
This morning as I spend time in reflection, I am again reminded that I am not in control. When I am in control, things don’t go well. I am reminded that God knows what is best and that there is nothing that separates me from his love. I am also reminded that fear, anxiety and worry are not of Christ. I am reminded that mortal man has no grip on me because my heart and focus is on an eternal Jesus.
I am praying today that God gives me direction. That I am open to his plan. That I can feel his presence around me and know he is guiding my path. I am praying that God is able to calm my spirit when it is anxious and that there is a positive, encouraging solution to circumstances out of my control.
I am praying that I continue to draw near to him.