GOD IS AWESOME.
There are sometimes just not words. Those three words aren’t adequate enough. He’s more than awesome. He’s incredible. He’s consistant. He’s undeniable.
For the past few days I’ve been singing the song “It’s All About You, Jesus.” I’ve realized for about the past week I’ve lost focus. I start to hold on to “my” life tighter than I should. I start to think I can control how my life is going to go. This morning, I sat down to relax, not even intending to do devotions honestly. As I was sitting on my couch, that song came to mind again. I looked it up on youtube and just started to worship. I was brought to a place of repentance. It wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t demeaning. It was a gentle reminder.
For so long I’ve struggled with failure (I still do). I don’t like to make mistakes. I don’t like to do things wrong. I don’t like to be a “failure”. I hide my mistakes. I run from failure. This pours into my spiritual life as well. When I make mistakes I’m afraid to go to God. I sometimes don’t know how to initiate conversation with Him. I am so thankful for a God who speaks in the ways we are able to listen. He used music to draw me into repentance. It wasn’t demeaning. It wasn’t shame. It. Was. So. Cool.
I started to hear these questions:
Who is this life about?
Who are you living for?
What are you bringing me when you worship?
I just worshiped and repented. I asked that God search my heart. I told him that He is what is important to me and that if there was anything in my life that he didn’t want me to have, I would chose him. It’s a relief when I go back and give it all to him. I feel my grip on life loosen. I don’t HAVE to be in control. I don’t HAVE to worry about every second of every day. When it’s God’s choice, I’m able to relax.
As I continued to ask for forgiveness, I asked that the Holy Spirit speak to me.
Immediately God gave me a vision.
Jesus was sitting in front of me as I was knelt at his feet. He reached down to me, put his hands on either side of my face and kissed my forehead. Then…you know what he did?! Just like he’s done for so many others that come to his feet, He said, “I love you.” (*CUE THE SOBBING*) He’s gently reminding me. “There is grace at my feet. Humble yourself. Meet me here. I love you. I’m always going to be here. Come to my feet, Marti. Let me love you, Marti. Let me kiss your fears away.”
He. Loves. Me.
It’s not about me. It’s all about Him. It’s all about Jesus.
I’m glad he brought me to his feet this morning. ❤